Home Responsibility Gifts

"Sorry I didn't take out the garbage."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Let's get organized

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

Biofelineism

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

When laundry ruled the waves.

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Kitchen Tetris

A Day In The Kitchen

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."

"By labeling it, I control it."

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

The Buck Never Stops.

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'