Home Protection Hero Gifts

'Check you house for termites, Lady?'

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

'Caw blimey!'

The household cavalry

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

Lazy plumber.

Bob’s Museum

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

'Occupation? You name it, that's ME.'

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

The Fuse

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

"Do you really know what you're doing, or do you Google-search know?"

And so Bob's folks sent him off into the world. But not before running a few last tests, just to be sure he could handle it.

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

"Okay, you two! Clean up the house and do the laundry while I take the kids to school!"

Bathroom flooding (man holding tap).

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"I only need two tools: WD-40 if something doesn't move that should, and duct tape if something moves that shouldn't!"

Cinderella mopping up

"What makes you think I doubt your abilities?"

"I'm all set to start the weekend reno project..." "And I'm all set to call 911."

"Let me know when the floor is clean enough for me to put my feet on it again."

Man who hits finger and screams for help has his mouth bound up instead of his finger by unsympathetic wife.

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

I put a feather pillow in the dryer by mistake! The repairman looked at me and said: 'Sorry about your duck!'