Home Rescue Hero Gifts

'If it were my house I'd put it on life support.'

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Foster failure"

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

'Caw blimey!'

"'What I wanted to do, but could not, during my socially-distanced summer vacation this year'..."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

The household cavalry

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

Lifesaver!

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

'Quick, press control Z!'

"If you can successfully complete a building permit for your home renovation, you win a prize!"

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

Lazy plumber.

Bob’s Museum

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

The Fuse

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"Do you really know what you're doing, or do you Google-search know?"

And so Bob's folks sent him off into the world. But not before running a few last tests, just to be sure he could handle it.

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

man juggling career, home and children

Litter.

'Keep your feet on the joists, Cedric.'

Rising Housing Costs vs Wages.