Home Repair Heroes Gifts

"You know that's a waste of time, just chuck it on the fire to keep us warm."

'It'll take a few days for the dryer parts to come in. In the meantime, you might want to set some lint traps in your basement.

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

'You might think it's your roof, but it's really my yard.'

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'

Fixing the light

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Jack of all trades

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'I found the termites!'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

I did it my way.

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

'I'm so excited to be remodeling the bathroom'

'Well, that's fixed that.'

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"