Home Maintenance Worker Gifts

"No thanks. Our ducks have already been cleaned."

We're with the gutter cleaning service ….

'You have an annoying drip in the bathroom. Please get him out of there.'

Leaf blowers at dawn.

"Well, we've done it, Sandy . . . we hit the 'cold snap tri-fecta:'. . ."

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Yardless: Please help

Man using to much bug spray

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"He loves his leaf blower."

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

Gondolier skimming up leaves in pool.

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"The trees are laughing at us."

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

Not much money, glory, or praise

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

Moses unblocking the toilet.

The household cavalry

'Well, that's fixed that.'

Timber preservation

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Clearing the castle's moat.

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."