Home Improvement Skeptic Pillows

"Whoa - You're gonna need a whole new string!"

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

A DIY disaster.

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"Mulch madness"

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

Your Home Remodel Team

"It's a miracle I was able to build this desk all by myself. I'm not so handy."

'I'm counter - intelligence'

Bob’s Museum

"This condo includes free access to fitness facilities...7 flights of stairs."

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

Wallpapering with Nails

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

"They've got insulation to die for!"

"Can't we just get some load-bearing wallpaper?"