Home Hilarity Seekers Gifts

"I'll have to call you back. The cat looks really pleased with himself, and I gotta find out why."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

Piranhaclaus

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'Oh, crap.'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"It's probably just seasonal."

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

'I'm an atheist!'

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

Now that we've developed lungs, it's only a matter of time before we feel guilty about not exercising.

Shell Fire

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

Fishing Boat Derby

"Do you know Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?"

'She looks just like you when you were that age.'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

Easter Candy Island.

'Great job Zork, we're lost... you couldn't find Uranus with both hands and a flashlight!'

Beware of the Cat.

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'