Home Harmony Humorist Gifts

Headlines at Our House

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Yard Sale

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"There goes our early night."

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

"Just the slippers is fine!"

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"5...4...3...2..."

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

'I didn't hear you calling. I can't listen to everybody who yells at me.'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"I see the cat's left us another little offering."

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

Carpet Cows

"Jim was a model Dad".

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

'She let the bedbugs bite.'