Harmony Humorist Gifts

'Never get a haircut from a barber shop quartet.'

Classical gas - musician farting music

Cello Saw

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"We only got six days of funding."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

The Adventures of God

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."