Harmonious Humorist Gifts

'The problem with Jr. High Choral is that between the auditions and the concert, 20% of the voices can change.'

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

"We only got six days of funding."

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

"Surgery up here is free!"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

The Adventures of God

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

Radiator jazz player

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '