Harmonious Humorist Pillows

'The problem with Jr. High Choral is that between the auditions and the concert, 20% of the voices can change.'

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

"We only got six days of funding."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Surgery up here is free!"

The Adventures of God

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'