Home-grown Guru Gifts

"On this diet, you can eat all you want of anything you can grow."

'Hey! What's the big idea!?!'

'School of hard knocks.'

"Doc, you'll be glad to know I'm comfortable in my own skin today. I shed my old in the reception room."

"I really don't care what yours says. My weather app says rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I think you should probably go with that, Noah."

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

'This app tells me how near my friends are...'

"Is that you talking or Wikipedia?"

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

'Our telephone 'get out the vote' drive reached everyone, unfortunately, they all voted for our opponent.'

Doctcom

'They're encyclopedias, Timmy... They're an early form of Google.'

'Darling, wake up, I've just realised ... we're not HD ready.'

"Excuse me, it's my reminder to get a life."

'Forget it - the nearest wi-fi hot spot is in Rangoon.'

"I was solving those same problems when I was your age."

"I have 130 disciples following me on Twitter."

'It's just that simple. So act now and start barking up the 'right' tree.'

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

Sign on shed reads 'Gone to seed.'

All-knowing mountain guru consults the internet.

There's no way you could have attained Nirvana already — you don't even have hemorrhoids yet.

"I'm sorry, Derek, but, now that Kelsey has learned how to convert JPEGs into PDFs, we can't justify keeping you on."

"Maybe when they're a little older, my son can help yours with his homework."

'Okay, I won't call the baby-sitter if you promise to spend the whole evening working on my web site.'

Bob worked hard to avoid the spotlight.

'I see your office is as secure as your website.'

'You know, it's a lot easier to just follow me on twitter.'

'He's beginning to notice girls.'

"Today we learn about multitasking, so play on your phones, talk to each other, and listen to me at the same time."

"I'm here to put a smile into your training."

'Life isn't fair. Just when girls get interesting, they get taller than us.'

'When I said I needed help, this wasn't what I mean. I meant live-in help.'

'He worked all day, came home and vacuumed, folded laundry, and cooked dinner. He got in touch with his feminine side.'

Enough with the poking let's just have sex.