Home Fortress Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'My home's got 'fortress' features galore - the best burglar alarm - armed security guards - intercom system - closed-circuit television - etc. ... I'm a virtual prisoner in my own home!'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

Living together, couple in love.

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

"I wish I had known you have arachnophobia before I paid."

'Nice to have a door opener.'

Safe harbour

"Nice, but it's still a fish bowl. We'd like something with a little more privacy."

'Ok - I'm thinking baroque style with a pillared apse and a waterfall in the atrium. Oh - and do we have a permit?'

"If I let you put a blanket over your cubicle, Hartley, I'd have to let everyone put a blanket over their cubicle."

Castle Cat Flap

'When I said you should improve security I meant put a latch on the door.'

A-1 security from crime....

The Brook-Green Volunteer Pt. 8

Tearing down and building walls.

'I have no intention of depending on the government for my homeland security.'

'I can't understand why no one came to our housewarming.'

"Beware of everything."

'No. We're having too much fun playing in the box.'

Internet Security

'Mum, when you've finished your full-time job, cleaned the house, sorted the laundry, made the meals and walked the dog could you sort out these bills for me?'

Peephole for the blind.

'So much for tomorrow's guacamole - this is the last of the extra virgin olive oil!'

'I have no intention of depending on the government for my homeland security.'

Security.

"Don't you think you're taking this shelter-in-place thing a little too far?!"

'And this is the walk-in fireplace... I'd be careful with that.'

"When it comes down to it, Jim, security is a personal responsibility."

"The terrorist barriers seem to be working."

Internet Security.

Billy's fort making skills hadn't progressed much since kindergarten.

Woman cleaning floor while man puts his feet up

"...and I'm sure you've already noticed how deep the carpet pile is!"