Fortress Fanatic T-Shirts

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

Castle Cat Flap

Tearing down and building walls.

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"I loved the bit where you hid under the seat."

'I hope it;s an express.'

'I like the frame.'

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

Tortured Plank

'There are shortcuts to making home brew, but taking a swig of malt extract and letting it ferment in your mouth isn't one of them.'

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

...they can't take the factory out of the man - he's off to do some welding.

A man swinging upside down by his legs on a scaffolding frame.

'We've had an application from No.10 Downing Street. . . they need to extend their cabinet room.'

'Ed, see if you can find out why Henderson, Morgan and Caldwell are building a moat around their building.'

"But is it..?"

'But our secret ingredient is large quantities of Hilberg beer.'

Artists without borders.

'Well... the frame is nice.'

"You're wasting your time, Dad. I learned in day care a cow jumped over the moon."

"Sire, the barbarian's are no longer at the gate...they're inside it!"

"Binaldi, Ravaccio, Dellacorte... and that's just the frames."

"Try not to loft the ball so much.'

"Painting was her love, but framing was her passion."

"It's another birthday card for me...!"

Caution Fragile

'This building inspector is so darn obstinate and bullheaded.'

'Another failure to communicate?'

'Do you notice when it's forty below, people quit kicking the oil companies?'

'Oh, we're just here so Rusty can shop around for a new fence to dig under.'