Home Fix-it Fanatic Gifts

Honey-do List

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Tool Box

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

Fixing the TV.

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

Timber preservation

Bob’s Museum

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"Was it a fuse?"

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

"The blow drier is broken."

Man falls through ceiling - 'Did you find the leak?'

'I think I found the problem.'

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

Organized chaos.

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

"I only need two tools: WD-40 if something doesn't move that should, and duct tape if something moves that shouldn't!"