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"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Extreme miming"

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Canape?

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

"WOW...this 50.1 theatre sound system makes you feel you're actually in the movie!"

A family trying to make a child smile for a photo

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"This one is perfect for Thanksgiving. It comes prestained in cranberry sauce, gravy and pumpkin pie."

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

'I hope this DVD has some worthwhile in-front-of-the-scenes content.'

"5...4...3...2..."

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

'I'm not sure if he plays that loud because he has a good set of lungs or if it's a mean streak in him.'

Entertainment systems

TV: widescreen 16x9 versus 4x3.

"Don't be silly - we're being perfectly fine hosts."

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

'And the funniest part is I made Frank go out and buy a new, $5,000 fridge, just to hold a $4.00 bottle of wine!'

Come dine with me!

A family choir

"Isn't it about time to switch from your warm-weather chair to your cold-weather chair?"

"Step right up, lady and gents, and scoop yourself a heaping helping of the best spicy meat and bean stew this side of the mighty Mississippi!"

Hand Puppets for all ages (Especially 3 or 4).

'You know, this is the 2nd bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

'Thin, sexy and costly. The trophy TV.'