Home Entertainer T-Shirts

"Don't be silly - we're being perfectly fine hosts."

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

"That will do while the TV is being repaired."

'And the funniest part is I made Frank go out and buy a new, $5,000 fridge, just to hold a $4.00 bottle of wine!'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

'That's the last time I let you plan the housewarming party!'

'Put that right back! Mother will be here any minute.'

"...and this attachment allows your cat to continue to sleep on top of the TV."

"I'm building a wall to keep out undesirable people."

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"Y' know, a GOOD host would provide a lactose-free option!"

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

'I was able to program the VCR, so now dad wants me to assemble his new barbecue.'

Man uses 'Hot News' as a barbecue.

'I got rid of the coffee table when you switched to tea.'

"That was delicious, but I really should read your meter now."

Doghouse Satellite

"Alexa, choose some music that will make my guests leave fairly soon."

"Martha will now do the rounds with an assortment of light snacks and liquid refreshments."

'What's for dinner? -- The answer may surprise you.'

"No, that's not my husband, he came with our Home Entertainment Centre."

Woman so absorbed in TV she's ironing the cat.

Entertainment systems

Ice Maker. Ice maker offers different types of ice.

'Take no notice...he just likes the sound of his own voice.'

'The bizarre etiquette of entertaining: the smaller the group the worse the food.'

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

A surprise visit

Friends saying goodbye

"Oh, ignore that. Penny likes to play with laser pointers."

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."

"If you're going to drink, we'd rather you do it in the house where we can party with you."

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"The Cochrans are not intellectuals, so please don't go on and on about 'Jonathan Livingston Seagull'."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."