Home Delivery Diva Gifts

'Oh good, it looks like the few things I ordered from the catalogue have arrived.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Home depot."

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Balancing work and family

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"I had to skip my workout."

Ironing day.

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

Washing Line Walker

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

"I learned how to shop online, mommy. If you see a series of tractor trailers arrive, it's just the rest of the stuff I ordered."

'At least I never have to straighten it out.'

Texturing the Walls

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.