Home Decor Hobbyist Pillows

'At least he's making an effort to match the curtains.'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

"You're welcome."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Cat statues on entrance gate

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

Posh Easter Egg

Bob’s Museum

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

King Madras

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."