Home Decoration Enthusiast Pillows

"I liked it better on top of my husband."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

"You're welcome."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Cat statues on entrance gate

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

Board Game Hunter

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

Posh Easter Egg

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

King Madras

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."