Home Computing Pillows

'Eric's trying to access the information super-highway, but he's still stuck on the garage forecourt.'

'I'm sorry, I seem to have taken a wrong turning somewhere on the electronic information super-highway.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"I'm working from home today."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

The Not-So Smart Meter

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"Bootsy has welcomed the vacuum robot into our home in her own unique way."

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'

Teddy queuing for the Bathroom

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

"Life is so much easier since I brought the XL Robovax for Clive."

'I accidentally hacked into Mom's microwave oven.'

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"Never marry an engineer."

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

"The blender just texted—we forgot to turn off the stove."

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."