Home Geek Pillows

"It's a smart refrigerator that requires a password to open it. They always use one of our names. Their lack of creativity has finally caught up with them."

Elfie Stick

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

"There appears to be a flaw in our cloaking technology."

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

"In the spirit of co-operation, peace and friendship with the people of Earth, we welcome Captain Zork and his incredible advanced weapons technology..."

"Bootsy has welcomed the vacuum robot into our home in her own unique way."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'Okay I admit it - we probably do need a rocket scientist.'

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

"I am using my GPS, but I spilled coffee on it which is why I'm really lost."

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

Caveman Wheel Invention Version 2.0

Thomas Edison's brother Wilmer...couldn't even figure out how to turn on the light.

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

"If God had intended us to fly in jets, He would have seen to it that the Wright Brothers invented jets."

Actually, could you just e-mail me your electronic signature? Meet the author.

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

Workplace Confidentiality.

'Sorry, Professor Kleinzweck -- your 'Chaos Theory' program just crashed.'

"So how exactly am I supposed to give a self-driving car a ticket?"

"I just installed a home security monitor."

"The new technology means we can watch our shares fall on four different continents."

"Sorry, your password must have at least nine characters, with both letters and numbers."

'So you just dry stuff? That's cool, I guess. I mean, it's not like there's some mystical force that could do that for you, like, I don't know... evaporation.'

How the cords get all tangles up when you're away.

Motor-blender.

Traffic Offence Selfie

Mars Rover

'Hey Josh! This is the Grim Reaper calling. No really! I'm using all the new technologies now and, so sad, your minutes on earth - well, they're up!'

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

"The last vampire who lived in it spared no expense on upgrades. Especially when it comes to the latest technology."

'Oh, this is just great... Now how am I going to get a Wi-Fi connection?'