Home Comfort Maestro T-Shirts

'Your fireplace needs a flue shot.'

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

'I installed all the floor tiles by myself. I did it all by tile and error.'

“Can I have her now? Hey! My turn.”

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

"You're never home."

Unicorn Working From Home

Contented man and cat sleeping

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"He's an indoor cat."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

Decorating with Children

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

"I'll never understand wallpaper."

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"I was just telling a fellow today what a good rabbit dog you are."

"We can't agree on a size."

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

Working from Home.

'Senior Cat Warranty, Low maintenance sofa accessory, Unlimited purring and cuddling, Mellow 'been there done that' attitude.'

Organized chaos.

"I see a couch."

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

Watching telly

'Now I know why they called this airco model 'Marilyn Monroe'.'

E-Z Livin'

Lawrence of Suburbia

"Central heat. Pretty posh."