Home Makeover Maestro T-Shirts

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

'I installed all the floor tiles by myself. I did it all by tile and error.'

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

'The house is fine, I want to send my mother in-law back home.'

Organized chaos.

More lies.

Tall and Short Painters

"Now, in here, with our buff walls and aubergine chintz, our statement has dropped to a purr."

"I'll never understand wallpaper."

'He was quite a double glazing salesman!'

Decorating with Children

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

Non-Drip ?

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

Curling your hair for no reason

'I wanted a change in decor.'

Over 50 shades of grey available.

A Bedroom In The Middle Of Being Redecorated.

Eggshell blue

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

'This guy's FAST!'

'The carpet's too thick so I cut a bit off the door.'

Ceiling painter with an umbrella.

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

Conducting the Orchestra on the TV

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

Do it yourself -- get someone else to do it -- get son to do it -- pay -- don't bother doing it -- move house

Woman shops while man sets up noose. "Do I go with bright white, deep white...."

'I don't see how this roller thing helps. . .'

'Now that the clocks have changed you can use that extra hour that you can't spend in the garden decorating the kitchen'

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

Slag Heap paint colour.

"It may not be the hardwood floor we were hoping for, but it's SO much better than that hideous carpeting!"

Other men just sing in the bath

Brick Red Paint...