Home Makeover Virtuoso T-Shirts

"Here's a letter from a housewife in the southern tier of the kingdom. She writes: 'Sire, would it or would it not be appropriate to use a sand-finish latex paint on a wall on which there remains some painted-over wallpaper? Respectfully, Mrs. R. Jones.'"

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

A holiday at home

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

'I wanted a change in decor.'

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

"I've fallen in love with red paint."

'Letting him buy the stupid guns was the only way I'd ever get him to paint the house.'

Sleeping on the Job

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"When things have returned to normal I might take this up for a living whaddya thing?!!"

'I'm redecorating my den and need a 16 point buck for the wall - see to it, Pendleton!'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

Eggshell blue

'It would be just like my husband not to like the color.'

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

'Hmmmm...lower.'

"Would you go nuts if I paint EVERYTHING pink!?"

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

'This guy's FAST!'

'They had a sale on electric green.'