Home Makeover Virtuoso Pillows

"Here's a letter from a housewife in the southern tier of the kingdom. She writes: 'Sire, would it or would it not be appropriate to use a sand-finish latex paint on a wall on which there remains some painted-over wallpaper? Respectfully, Mrs. R. Jones.'"

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

A holiday at home

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

'I wanted a change in decor.'

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

Over 50 shades of grey available.

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

"I've fallen in love with red paint."

'Letting him buy the stupid guns was the only way I'd ever get him to paint the house.'

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

'Hmmmm...lower.'

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"When things have returned to normal I might take this up for a living whaddya thing?!!"

'It would be just like my husband not to like the color.'

"Would you go nuts if I paint EVERYTHING pink!?"

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Eggshell blue

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

'I'm redecorating my den and need a 16 point buck for the wall - see to it, Pendleton!'

Sleeping on the Job

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

'This guy's FAST!'