Home Collector T-Shirts

'I'm a homing-pigeon you see, but since I've invested in the property market, I'm confused as to which home to return to...'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

Children's artwork exhibition.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

Thank you bubbles

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'It seats two comfortably.'

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

Philosopher trading cards.

The Card Flinger

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

Card shark

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

Red Card - Gold Card.