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"... and God bless my mom and her courage to call this food."

Come dine with me!

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"You do like octopus?"

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

Party time.

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

Lockdown casserole

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

Roasted

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Go on - they're organic!'

'The kids are on a hunger strike, I'm on a diet, and you're on your own.'

"Pretty good dog, huh, Larry?"

'... But, why do you want me to sign a "waiver of liability form"?'

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

"Happy thanksgiving!"

Scales

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

Stay at home food pyramid

Thanksgiving 2020

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?

'We share the load - she cooks it, I eat it.'

'Your dinner's in the microwave.'

Mankind's earliest ancestor emerges from the primordial ooze, closely followed by a prehistoric species of re-sealable plastic containers.

'Grandma makes everything from scratch! Why don't you ever buy any scratch?'

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'