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Death of the cook

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"We won!"

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

TV Chef Cooking Range

"Pretty good dog, huh, Larry?"

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

Hot Halloween Costumes

'Just call me Delia...'

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

"... and God bless my mom and her courage to call this food."

Swiss Kitchen

"I don't like it."

Commie Chef.

'It was very good.'

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

"Refresh my memory-why do we meet once a week?"

'Well excuse me, but if your chef's so great, why is he in the kitchen instead of a TV show?'

'I'm fixing breakfast - how do you like your eggs, black or dark brown?'

John Toroda and Gregg Wallace

"It's the last of the Chef's Special. He says he'll arm-wrestle you for it."

"By the way, hon, great food, great wine, great you."