Chef's Supporter Gifts

Death of the cook

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"We won!"

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

TV Chef Cooking Range

"Pretty good dog, huh, Larry?"

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

Emeril John Lagassé III caricature

Hot Halloween Costumes

Cooking without Jamie Oliver

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

'Just call me Delia...'

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

"@#!!!%$ the critics!! Give me Bobby $#@!! Flay!!"

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

'There's a Mr. Oliver to see you. Says he can save the world.'

"I don't like it."

Swiss Kitchen

"... and God bless my mom and her courage to call this food."

"The George Foreman! I've got just the thing."

Michael Symon

'It was very good.'

Commie Chef.

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

'Well excuse me, but if your chef's so great, why is he in the kitchen instead of a TV show?'

"Refresh my memory-why do we meet once a week?"

John Toroda and Gregg Wallace

'I'm fixing breakfast - how do you like your eggs, black or dark brown?'

"It's the last of the Chef's Special. He says he'll arm-wrestle you for it."

One cappuccino please, and I wanted to give you this. A note. How formal. Dear small local independent coffee house ... I went to Starbucks this morning. I'm sorry. Can you ever forgive me? What if I agree to purge what I ate? The written apology is sufficient.