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'I'm fixing breakfast - how do you like your eggs, black or dark brown?'

"Mom, will you help me take down my drawings? I'm selling my catalog."

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

Jeff's Smorgasbord

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

Boys Cooking

"Pretty good dog, huh, Larry?"

Boy baking a cake.

Sushi Train Set.

'Step 5. Call the Fire Department.'

"I want you to be well in life, son...."

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

"Ciiiiiilaaaantrooooo."

'There's nothing good to eat!'

"This can't be soup....where are all the little letters that usually float in it?"

"... and God bless my mom and her courage to call this food."

'I could beat these eggs a lot easier if it weren't for all the shells.'

'Just call me Delia...'

'It really is nice to eat out once in a while!'

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'We were playing Doctor and I was sterilizing the gloves.'

"I can't wait to go home and replace all your sports channels with cooking channels."

'What do you mean you're not hungry?'

"We try to give him a realistic outlook on life."

'Hi, I saw your ad and I'm interested in the entree-level position!'

'Son, do you think I'm ready for my own cooking show?'

Death of the cook

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"No, dear. This meal isn't undercooked, you just haven't burnt it, for a change."