Home Chaos Conquerors T-Shirts

"It's your night to cook, make everyone do their homework, deal with chaos, and wonder where the hell I am."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

'Anthony! And all over my new carpet! Bad cat! Bad cat!'

"We need to channel his energy into something positive."

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

Woman in need of an extractor fan.

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

Working from home.

Tuppermalware

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

"I'm running a loose ship."

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

How men shop for towels.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. II

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

"Is there anyone here who specializes in stress management?"

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

"How come we have so many cookery books cluttering up the kitchen?...I mean, you obviously don't read any of them."

“Putty took a wife. Her name was Possums, and she bore him Little Gentleman, Biddy Boo, Savor Tooth, Fluffy, Harry Cat, and Cesar. Then Little Gentleman begat Little Gentleman II and Friday and Tinkle Toes and Possum Tail and…”

I'm attacking this family's clutter! You need me? Yes! Help me decide which pile to start with. Tough call.

"Edna, have you fallen asleep in the bath again?"

'Ugh! Look at the state of our home office.'

"We hadn't planned for this sort of traffic."

To-Do List Chaos

Man: 'Oh for HEAVEN'S sake Zachary! WHAT have I told you about RUNNING THROUGH the house?!

'Can you call back? He's busy right now.'

"Don't you think we'll be memorable parents?"

'Don't worry, your father won't notice.'

'I love what you haven't done with this place.'