Home Automation Enthusiast Pillows

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

'His pacemaker keeps opening and shutting the garage door.'

'Did you notice the automatic garage door opener I had installed, George?'

'Isn't that nice! The Kaltons have an all-computerized house.'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

The Not-So Smart Meter

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

"I discovered our home can be programmed to spit out any unnecessary clutter."

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"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

Meet the new factory manager.

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

Congratulations Strike Over!

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

'I shall now hand over to our guest speaker, management unit XT-56.'

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

"Life is so much easier since I brought the XL Robovax for Clive."

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"It said it's from the Internet of Things."