Home Automation Geek Pillows

'If even one speck of dirt touches the grid, the entire house is locked down for 72 hours. Pretty cool, huh?'

"We now know what happens when you have a smart hone, and the electricity goes out."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

The Not-So Smart Meter

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

"I discovered our home can be programmed to spit out any unnecessary clutter."

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

Meet the new factory manager.

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

Congratulations Strike Over!

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

'I shall now hand over to our guest speaker, management unit XT-56.'

"It said it's from the Internet of Things."

Really? You're hiring me back to replace the robot you just replaced me with? I've had a change of heart, minion. It may be cheaper to automate my café. But it dawned on me that robots don't buy very many drinks. Plus, as much as I try to let the bottom line guide me, I am, deep down, a very compassionate man. I couldn't bear the thought of you being poor and miserable. Maybe he's not such a bad man. Plus, one accidental incineration of a customer and the authorities get all weird about it.

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"Life is so much easier since I brought the XL Robovax for Clive."

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"Leave it to humans - making robotics do the striking."

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."