Home Automation Buffs Pillows

"When I said I wanted socks, I obviously meant I wanted a multi-room sound system with voice activated management."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

The Not-So Smart Meter

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"I discovered our home can be programmed to spit out any unnecessary clutter."

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

Meet the new factory manager.

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

Really? You're hiring me back to replace the robot you just replaced me with? I've had a change of heart, minion. It may be cheaper to automate my café. But it dawned on me that robots don't buy very many drinks. Plus, as much as I try to let the bottom line guide me, I am, deep down, a very compassionate man. I couldn't bear the thought of you being poor and miserable. Maybe he's not such a bad man. Plus, one accidental incineration of a customer and the authorities get all weird about it.

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"Life is so much easier since I brought the XL Robovax for Clive."

"The blender just texted—we forgot to turn off the stove."

'Now that we're completely automated, there's no one to yell at.'

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

Automation of Security

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"We're a totaly automated facility, except for Frank. He plugs everything in each morning."

"Who's the new guy?"

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."