Home Alone Humorists Gifts

'Oh no, they're back!'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Yard Sale

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'I'm not going to remind you again, Harold. Now, go get the garbage and bring it in here.'

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

Happy Brithday

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

'I didn't hear you calling. I can't listen to everybody who yells at me.'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"I see the cat's left us another little offering."

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

'I put lint tape all over his onesie so that, as he crawls around, he picks up the dog hair.'

Carpet Cows

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.