Hollywood Gossip Fans Pillows

Je Suis Brangelina

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

Jimmy Cagney.

Hollywood Breakup

'Vital mission - movie parody'

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

Larry King

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

Lord of the Rings IV.

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"! (Published originally on March 2, 2009.)

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

Sammi and her 'partner' decide to have their child baptized at a Suuuuper-inclusive church

'Oh no! Political memoirs!'

When stars marry: 'Why did you ask him first? Does he have top billing?'

'Reports of my abstinence have been slightly exaggerated. . . I read somewhere that smoking and drinking are bad for you. . . so I gave up reading.'

Good Morning Britain

'And who are you wearing?'

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Groupeé? You can call me "Booster." Dr. Noodle. Hey, who was that who just left your office? Was that that historian I saw on TV? Herodotus Jenkins? I can't say. He's the best. He come here this time every week? I can't say. And who's that out in the waiting room? Is that Brock Manly of "Fast & Furious 12" fame? I can't say. What brings you here? I heard you treat all the famous people. I just thought it might be nice to know the rich and famous are as messed up a

"It's finally happened - Tom Hanks was in every movie this year."

To Get Pardoned by Trump, Become a Celeb

"You know that kid that submitted a screenplay to us on the back of a restaurant menu? I'm passing on it. I like the screenplay, but I hate that restaurant."

'My degree is in journalism but with a major emphasis in celebrity gossip.'

Alternative Game Shows: Shooting Stars

The Space Potatoes talk about....Madonna.

Quentin Tarantino

'I agree that the publicity would be good for your blog, but how are you going to get a Kardashian to date you?'

L.A.: Still No Pro Football

Rich Cow: 'Simon Cowell'

Julianne Moore,