Holiday Traditionalists Gifts

Keep Christ in Xmas.

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"Boss, I know the nice list and I know the naughty list, but what about this third list?"

Elfie Stick

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Christmas sweater alternatives

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

"Room for bigger presents."

"Tis the season to be jolly!"

"God, I miss the old days!"

Child Testing Santa Claus's Generosity

'Turkey's okay, but most of the trimmings are vegetables.'

"I've decided to forgo expensive gifts with acts of apathy."

Christmas Eve at Mr. Wardle's

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

'Sometimes Rudolph, I can't help but feel Christmas is getting too complicated!'

"What time does the Black Friday parade begin?"

"I want my job back."

"Your daddy had all the trimmings, son, our nation's highest honor."

"Oh my! Kids, don't eat the house too quickly!"

"We represent a North Carolina trade association and we'd like to file suit against the Native Americans for introducing our clients to a certain agricultural product."

"Just answer the question, sir. Is it true that you're not planning to watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' this holiday season?"

Angry Santa Letter

The Second Thanksgiving.

'He was just the same with my frankincense - more interested in the box!'

the Lesser-known Nogs

"He's my relative from Hawaii."

Turkey Kids.