Holiday Strategist Pillows

"We'd like to go somewhere that qualifies as a tax deduction."

Christmas escape plan

'How is your Christmas shopping going?'

'Sure, I'll take a meeting - but only if you've been very, very good,'

'I've got the children busy finding a solution to the Middle East crisis...'

Buy 3 Easter Eggs and then get a Xmas Tree Free

A green man sitting on a beach imagining selling toys online

"Every holiday I disable his Internet. It keeps his mind off us."

"Every year I give my grandparents the same thing. . . a list of everything I want for Christmas."

"Here's the first draft of my Christmas list - any presents over a hundred bucks are your best bet."

"I set your phone to remind you every 5 minutes of what I want for Christmas. It's annoying, but effective."

"I've learned the secret to a happy holiday season! When relatives come to visit...make sure they think you love the gifts they gave you last year."

"It's been proven that your right foot is bigger than the left, so always hang up your right sock."

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

With so many people doing their Christmas shopping online, the Salvation Army has had to try a new strategy with its bell ringers.

'Does Santa have skype?. . . I'd like to get in some face time, so he puts me at the top of his list come December. . .'

Last week revisited. Uncle Mort, want to come over to my place for Thanksgiving? Can't. Sadie and I are having it at her place. How nice of you. What? I'd love to. What can I bring? Beautifully played, no? She'll kill me. I'd love to. How nice.

"I'm out! I got a job at another Santa Claus company!"

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

Christmas Tree

'He lives for his holidays.'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Home depot."

Tree in Dollar Shape.

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

Happy Turkey Day!

"I have no toys just yet. I have a concept of a plan for toys...toys like no one has ever seen before."

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

Horn of Leftovers

Children's Dreams on Christmas Eve