Holiday Shopping Strategists Pillows

"Making purchases with credit cards should have a five day waiting period!"

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

'I've got it written down...'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

Black Friday

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

'But what do you sell?'

Seasonal shopping.

'Sure, I'll take a meeting - but only if you've been very, very good,'

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

"OK...now they've gone too far! We're barely out of Halloween!"

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

"I am in training for the sales."

"I'm going to need to make multiple stops."