Holiday Shopping Warrior Pillows

'I hope you like it. I got the last one. . . Pepper spray. I had to fight off an older couple for it. They went down like a sack of dirt.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

Changing Room Decisions

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

Black Friday

Seasonal shopping.

'Sure, I'll take a meeting - but only if you've been very, very good,'

"Each year John has so much trouble untangling the lights, they're on him longer than the tree!"

'Denied?...but it's my last one.'

"Better get a move on, only 1,314,000 steps till Christmas."

"I am in training for the sales."

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

'Do I believe?? Listen, I believe in anything that generates $400 billion in annual sales!'

'The good news is, I got your Mum's cardigan.'

Christmas escape plan

"Tenth circle. Ladies' shoes."

'I braved the Boxing Day sales just for you, dear.'

'Let's shop faster. I need the exercise.'

inflation at Christmas

'Does Santa have skype?. . . I'd like to get in some face time, so he puts me at the top of his list come December. . .'

"We'd like to go somewhere that qualifies as a tax deduction."

'First I'd like to remind you of the true meaning of christmas - profits.'

'Everything must go...manners included!'

Last week revisited. Uncle Mort, want to come over to my place for Thanksgiving? Can't. Sadie and I are having it at her place. How nice of you. What? I'd love to. What can I bring? Beautifully played, no? She'll kill me. I'd love to. How nice.