Holiday Shopping Warrior Prints

'I hope you like it. I got the last one. . . Pepper spray. I had to fight off an older couple for it. They went down like a sack of dirt.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

Changing Room Decisions

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

Black Friday

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

Seasonal shopping.

"Each year John has so much trouble untangling the lights, they're on him longer than the tree!"

'Sure, I'll take a meeting - but only if you've been very, very good,'

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"I am in training for the sales."

'Denied?...but it's my last one.'

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

'Do I believe?? Listen, I believe in anything that generates $400 billion in annual sales!'

'The good news is, I got your Mum's cardigan.'

Christmas escape plan

"Tenth circle. Ladies' shoes."

'Let's shop faster. I need the exercise.'

inflation at Christmas

'I braved the Boxing Day sales just for you, dear.'

"We'd like to go somewhere that qualifies as a tax deduction."

'First I'd like to remind you of the true meaning of christmas - profits.'

'Everything must go...manners included!'

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'

Support your local bookstore