Holiday Season Navigator Gifts

"Only twelve more hours to go, what are you hoping to bag?!!"

Where your mind & battle are los

Carefree luggage.

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Airlines

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

"Ninja bread men"

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

Airport Security.

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

Tourists and their Pets.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

Mr. Punch in Venice

'How very Cumbria.'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

Non-Denominational Carols

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

'Now it fits.'

'I told you that letting him have a pet would cause a problem at migration time...'

* Let's stop here, they seem nice!