Holiday Multitasker Pillows

"Happy Mother's Day, Mom. And ditto for Thanksgiving and Christmas."

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"Drunk, yet orderly"

Fitness Programme for babies

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

Hassled Mother.

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

"I love my new tie! I'll wear it to work tomorrow." "The report'll be done shortly." "Excellent!"

Creative entrepreneur at work

'I suppose you realize that when I tell everyone back at the office about this you wont be able to tele-commute anymore.'

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

"You're on vacation. Stop trying to type things."

Are you nodding yes, or nodding off?

"Hey. Where the hell's my harmonica?"

"Okay, I'll change your diaper, but you better not tell any of my patients."

"...I've only got four pairs of hands you know"

'I don't have time to read a book a month, what about a pamphlet club?'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

How to play violin while reading a book...

'Don't mind me. I thought I'd use these boring office meetings to do my excercising.'

Business executive has desk sign stating: I am in a meeting.

'If I have to be at these boring meetings, I might as well get something out of it.'

'Technical Support. While you're on hold for the next hour, press 1 if you would like to listen to New Age Music, press 2 If you would like to listen to rap, press 3 If you would like to listen to country, press 4... '

On Weekdays. . . On Weekends

"I just have time to make some toast, analyze its particle sizes, its density, its chemisorption..."

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

"It's the best darn Santa we've had in years!"