Holiday Multitasker Pillows

"Happy Mother's Day, Mom. And ditto for Thanksgiving and Christmas."

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"Drunk, yet orderly"

Fitness Programme for babies

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

Hassled Mother.

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

"I love my new tie! I'll wear it to work tomorrow." "The report'll be done shortly." "Excellent!"

Creative entrepreneur at work

'I suppose you realize that when I tell everyone back at the office about this you wont be able to tele-commute anymore.'

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

"You're on vacation. Stop trying to type things."

Are you nodding yes, or nodding off?

"...I've only got four pairs of hands you know"

"Okay, I'll change your diaper, but you better not tell any of my patients."

In the great green room there was a pot of coffee and a red-eyed dad, too. Good Morning Moon.

"Hey. Where the hell's my harmonica?"

OK, so maybe we've all overscheduled our kids a little.

'I don't have time to read a book a month, what about a pamphlet club?'

How to play violin while reading a book...

'Don't mind me. I thought I'd use these boring office meetings to do my excercising.'

There's so many things I should be doing that when I procrastinate, I'm multitasking.

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

'Yes, yes, I get the symbolism, Mr. Sanchez. You can wear many hats. Very clever.'

I'd clean this place up in 10 minutes. Yeah right. What's that you say? I fold laundry in my sleep. You're talking crazy to a man who can hem his wife's stockings while baking bread. Listen up close. Before my wife got home today, I scrubbed the bathroom tile, made a peach pie, sent out thank-you notes, fixed the kids grilled cheese and repotted the begonia. Now what do you think of that, pansy!? How liberated men compete. Don't make me knit something! I will get busy on you with a dust buster.

Business executive has desk sign stating: I am in a meeting.

I'm going to give each of my girlfriends a bottle of this wine for valentine's day. A port in every sweetheart!

'If I have to be at these boring meetings, I might as well get something out of it.'

'Technical Support. While you're on hold for the next hour, press 1 if you would like to listen to New Age Music, press 2 If you would like to listen to rap, press 3 If you would like to listen to country, press 4... '

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

Octopus Parent

"I just have time to make some toast, analyze its particle sizes, its density, its chemisorption..."

On Weekdays. . . On Weekends