Christmas Multitasker Pillows

"It's the best darn Santa we've had in years!"

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"Drunk, yet orderly"

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

Fitness Programme for babies

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

Creative entrepreneur at work

'I suppose you realize that when I tell everyone back at the office about this you wont be able to tele-commute anymore.'

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

'I caught him watching tv, surfing the net, and playing video games ..book him!'

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

Magic coat fixing problems while walking the dog.

'It's an audio book: I'm too busy to read books...'

Homeschooling

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

"These days I do a little sub-editing on the side too!"

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

"Hey. Where the hell's my harmonica?"

"Okay, I'll change your diaper, but you better not tell any of my patients."

"...I've only got four pairs of hands you know"

"Everything I needed to know I learned from my mother - but I usually follow up with a YouTube video for verification purposes."

'Who's gonna tell her she's wearing two different shoes?'

'So you could say 'I'm wearing two hats'.'

'I'm a communication expert because I can eat crisps, drink beer, read the news and talk to my wife while watching TV!'

Stroller Cellphone

'I don't have time to read a book a month, what about a pamphlet club?'

"Day care worker's delight: Velcro diapers"