Holiday Humor Fan Gifts

"None opposed? Good -- then the motion is carried to double the workload."

'Bloody solar panels!'

"We love Santa, but Santa didn't know as much about investing as he thought he did."

'Baby on board.'

Mandatory employee health insurance will break me!

'The cattle are lowing...'

Insurance claim on Grandma

'Your resume is quite impressive, but we're looking for self-starters.'

Santa reading newspaper by the light of Rudolph's nose

Santa: 'Apparently, they found the personal details of hundreds of children on his computer.'

"It's bad enough when someone give you a card who you didn't... but worse when it's a musical card!"

'Are we the only two on the farm not looking forward to Christmas?'

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

'This way! We will grant you sanctuary!'

"What do you know? We were mentioned in the recipe section of this publication."

More proof that Christmas has become way too commercial.

Santa empties sack, sayng: 'The kids send very few letters since you set up that website.'

"So, tell me of any experience you have that would make you well suited for the job.'

And then I said, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." So he said "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." Of course, I had to say, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." It happens every year -0 the turkey never fails to put him to sleep!"

Santa left stranded.

"Thank goodness no traffic jams for us."

The Grim Reaper

Year of the Tiger

". . . And for years, they even told you when they would win, but does Mr. Tight-Wad place a bet? Noooo!!"

'I won't forget honey, in fact I've got my eyes on some stocking-fillers as we speak.'

'I wonder what they wanted with rum this time of night?'

Cat Hanging Mice on Christmas Tree.

Try me/try me/try me...

Only 12 more lopping days 'til Christmas.

SORRY,,, A creature was stirring,

'Today, Santa Claus asked for a bail out.'

'Oops! I should've gone to the bathroom before I came.'

'Why do I have to get all painted up just because it's Easter?'

"Nice tree! Did you chew that one down yourself?"

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'