Holiday Helper Gifts

Santa Claus donates blood.

"You've got to be kidding me! The one night of the year when I need them to be at the top of their game....and I get a flat!"

Invention to hold knots while wrapping presents.

"Dad, I'll assemble yours if you assemble mine."

"Things are crazy right now. Let me get back to you after the holidays."

'Connect insert A, B, and C into slots D, E, and F. Tighten using assembly tool G. What in the H are they talking about?'

Help Wanted

"We do our best to give people the most courteous and attentive treatment possible, especially during the holiday rush."

"Well, I see you've hung your stocking!"

Christmas Pets

"I had high hopes of getting into the computer games division but it could have been worse. At least I didn't end up in the socks and underwear section..."

"He's shifting everything into overnight delivery."

"Santa set up the hotline because he knows not everyone is jolly this time of the year!"

Gracie asks Santa for money for charity.

Share your blessings - give to Toys for Tots, Salvation Army, Food Shelves.

Quick Loans. We'll help you through the spirit of Christmas Past.

Rescuing the NHS for Christmas

Give Meaning To Christmas.

Snowman offering solutions.

The Christmas Beggar

PLEASE HELP ME DELIVER GIFTS

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Excuse me, but for some reason you have us traveling with our kids."

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."

'We haven't had a family get-together like this since we were kids - Hey! Where are mum and dad?'

'I am not doing nothing ... I am perfecting inertia.'

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

Camping-Pong

Lounging by the pool

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"I know it's not an ideal situation, Samantha, but how else are we going to afford a 160 gigabyte laptop, a top of the range mobile and a Playstation 3 for the kids presents?"

'See you in two weeks!'