Holiday Hosts Gifts

'This is the one I'm most proud of. It's for picking the right wine last Thanksgiving.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Cardiac Recovery.

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

'We haven't had a family get-together like this since we were kids - Hey! Where are mum and dad?'

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"Here's to East, West, South and Bridgehampton, and all the little Hamptons in between."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"Ho, ho, you're fired."

"When you're finished with your Thanksgiving

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

Christmas Canapes

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

Compulsive Christmas Caterer!

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

Thanksgiving.

Theatrical Christmas.

Shall I be mother?

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"Too much salt?! Hey, I put a lot of sweat and tears into making that Christmas Pudding!"

'Mary, you must give me your stuffing recipe.'

Blowing out the Christmas Pudding.

Meat Poultry Fish. Genetically Modified Christmas Turkeys. Order Now. They inserted kangaroo DNA to make a product for stuffing, and octopus DNA so everybody gets a drumstick!

"She can't take any constructive criticism."

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

Monday. Grab what you can for dinner. I'm shopping for Thanksgiving! Tuesday. I didn't pack your lunches. I'm fixing cranberry relish. Wednesday. Shoo! I'm making the pies! I know how the pilgrims felt. I'm starving!

Holiday Stress.

Dog in Christmas outfit with cracker.

Are we nearly there yet?

Share your blessings - give to Toys for Tots, Salvation Army, Food Shelves.

"Perhaps it was the eel," The Lefleurs commiserate with their paying guest.