Holiday Coordinator Gifts

'Hello, is that the temp agency? Now listen, I specifically asked for Elves!'

Airlines

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Mr. Punch in Venice

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

Italia tours

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Heading off with a packed bag

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"Not guilty?"

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

Man on beach realizes laying down flattens his stomach

"Ho, ho, you're fired."

"I know it’s a challenge, but it needs your input!" "...Your breadth of knowledge of different interest groups, religions...cultures!" "Right, so the staff Christmas meal will be a traditional lacto-vegan one at a Thai restaurant sometime in March?" "Do you think the Pagans will be OK with that?"

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

'We must have everything... this is all that's left!'

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

'Let it go, Amy.'

"We can't go. We don't have enough carbon offset credits to get to the Grand Canyon."

'Santa is the delivery man, I'm the CEO. Do you know what a CEO is, Lisa?'

New Year's Eve party for dogs

"Well, all I know is he left on vacation to unwind... and he never wound-up again!"

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'