Holiday Culinary Scientist Gifts

Christmas was the one time of year when Roger could take advantage of working in the genetic research laboratory.

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'I have to agree -- the value of pie goes on indefinitely.'

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

"I'm studying the effects of prolonged radiation exposure on a panzerotti."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

Culinary surgery.

'Hard or soft science?'

Studying String Cheese Theory

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

They discover fire and we spend all day cooking!

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

DNA Xmas.

"Are you outta your gourd?!!"

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

If Einstein had worked in Fast Food

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

At the Periodic Picnic Table of the Elements

"No, I'm not the waiter. I'm the genetic engineer. How would you like your lamb?"

'If that's the way he feels about chemistry, there's no harm done.'

"Too much salt?! Hey, I put a lot of sweat and tears into making that Christmas Pudding!"

Blowing out the Christmas Pudding.

Meat Poultry Fish. Genetically Modified Christmas Turkeys. Order Now. They inserted kangaroo DNA to make a product for stuffing, and octopus DNA so everybody gets a drumstick!

Einstein tests his pasta-antipasto theory.

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

Huge Christmas Pudding

Monday. Grab what you can for dinner. I'm shopping for Thanksgiving! Tuesday. I didn't pack your lunches. I'm fixing cranberry relish. Wednesday. Shoo! I'm making the pies! I know how the pilgrims felt. I'm starving!

'I vote we throw caution to the wind.'

'Common cold? We thought you said 'caramel corn!''

'Care to join me? I'm making lunch.'

The Hardon Colander.

Too full after after Christmas dinner!

"On the contrary, the way to a man's heart is through the superior vena cava."